I usually write things first on paper before i post them on tumblr.

    It’s precisesly 12:48 as I write this. No, not type, but write, as in, actually using some ugly mechanical pencil to write this on some cheap OfficeMax binderpaper that’s smudging because for some reason, my fingers are sweating. First of all, i want apologize - yes, I know… it’s very late - to whoever is miraculously and faithfully still following me on tumblr, because I have been neglecting my blog for a couple of months. Yeah, my bad. Honestly, I could care less if there are only two people that are actually going to read this post, but hey, I am back now, and that’s all that matters. I think.

   Anyway, it’s winter break right now, and I just started reading the comical biography called Bossypants by Tina Fey. It’s quite inspiring and hilarious (and frankly I have a feeling that I’m writing a lot like her). I know we’re far from being similar… besides the race and talent, on a scale of 0 to 70 on sarcasm expertise, I’m a 0.5, and Tina Fey is just a flat-out 69. Yep. The reason I brought the subject of Tina Fey up is that (notice how I am pretty meticulous when it comes to grammar; I dont’ use “the reason is because…” for these kinds of sentences. Come on, Obama!) I love how she doesn’t care abotu what her haters think about her, and she knows that the world knows that we know that it’s 400% okay to be herself. If only I could have her send me this message by having her biography published before I started freshman year of high school! It disgusts me to think about how people in the earlier stages of their HS career dress to impress all the time by following trends instead of starting them… I know a girl who I used to be acquainted with, and now she has climbed to the clique-y part of the social pyramid. She dresses, talks, and walks just like any other “popular” person; I actually don’t envy, rather, I sympathize for her, because she now has to love the things that aren’t considered “appropriate” in secret. In Bossypants, Tina Fey clearly doesn’t have to try hard to captivate the attention of her readers. I think she seriously has a natural charm in making my stomach eventually hurt like a mother from laughing about her initial mentrual cycle experience. Tina Fey is just being Tina Fey, not some desperate cheerleader with “LOOK AT ME! I’M PRETTY!” written across her face.

    I admit that i’m those cowards that are scared of being able to deflect all the things people say/think about. I constantly worry, and I have this inside my head that says stuff like, “Hey, Vivian, this underarmour shirt looks tight on ya… just watch what people are gonna say about your boobs!”

    …fine. So let me be Vivian-the-nerdy-pianist-slash-artist-who-gets-all-freaked-out-when-she-sees-the-guy-she-likes-and-has-one-messed-up-eyebrow-and-sometimes-gets-too-quiet-and-awk-and-maybe-even-annoying-and-looks-awful-in-that-pink-shirt-and-whose-confidence-is-ruined-by-her-ex.

    So please, be yourself, stop worrying about other’s opinions or how they judge you, etc. Don’t be like me. It would delight me if you could but “Be Yourself” on your 2012 New Year’s Resolutions list, and let me know if you’ve achieved such thing at some point next year. Until then, have fun enduring the craziness of Kathy Griffin (with Anderson Cooper!) on CNN’s New Year’s Eve Countdown on Saturday night!

love, vivian.

i-like-pigeons:

(Source: ayealexisrose, via ibejustchillin)